Regret as a Grain of Sand

 I am always mesmerized by the opening lines of William Blakes's Auguries of Innocence

                        To see a world in a grain of sand

                            And a heaven in a wild flower,

                            Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

                            and eternity in an hour.

To see a world in a grain of sand...

I suppose every frontier of our internal lives can be explored.  Such an exploration needs an empathetic person asking probing questions and daring to embark on such an adventure.  (324) THE POWER OF REGRET by Daniel Pink | Core Message - YouTube and (324) Daniel Pink: The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward - YouTube show me that Dan Pink was able to discover and see a world in that grain of sand we call regret.

I will admit, before viewing these videos and reading some excerpts from his book, regret was regret, just a grain of sand.

Indeed, prior to these videos and excerpts if you had asked me about regrets, I may have admitted to possessing quite a few of them.  If you decide to probe further, I may have added that I wish I never had any of these regrets.  

Watching these videos, however, has convinced me that regrets are inevitable but can be used to create the good life.   Even though I am not sure on how to do that for myself yet, I believe my views on regrets have changed forever.

For one thing, prior to these new views, I would only have been able to speak to individual regrets rather than broad categories.  

Dan Pink used both quantitative and qualitative data to propose a model in which regrets are classified into four broad categories.  He had about 17000 data points - an impressive number - to back up his model.

The four categories of regrets are:

1. Foundational Regrets
2. Boldness Regrets
3. Moral Regrets
4. Connection Regrets

If I am racked by regrets of not saving enough money, that is foundational regret.  A familiar metaphor for this type of regret would be the story of the ant and the grasshopper.

If I lament not being married because I did not have the courage to date and find the right partner, I am suffering from boldness regret.

A person regretting being a bully at a younger age is undergoing moral regrets.

Two people who regret letting their friendship deteriorate would be victims of connection regrets.

Dan Pink does not stop by defining regrets.  He empowers us to look squarely at our regrets and search for redemptive actions, using our regrets as our launching pad for better lives.

Afterall, regrets are universal.  So why not face them and use the experience to design lives that we can be proud of?

I am grateful for this paradigm shift about regrets.  All because an inquisitive author saw a world in a grain of sand.

Would I make something out of it?  Painful question but definitely worth asking and answering.